At the beginning, college and university were established for the highest institution of human knowledge such as science, technology,and humanities. In nowadays, those institutions also have many other positions derived from their original purpose in the society.  As one of attendee of such system, I presume that the people attending university have two major reasons for their study: one being a future investment for higher income and another being a place to deepen the knowledge of their interest.

Firstly, study experience in university gives attendees higher salary than before. -> The experience gained from studying in university allows attendee to receive higher salary than before on grounds that attendee\'s economic value is high thanks to the extensive knowledge the attendee fostered in university.  For example, if a person studied mechanical engineering in college, ㅐone would have a capacity to construct complex machines like diesel-motored carsand large ships. One would have to do many practices and deal with mechanic capacity, construction design and other components which are really important to make sophisticated designs. These benefits are unreachable privileges for craftman who did not study those subjects in such institutes.  The attendee\'s substantial knowledge about business guarantees him the higher value that those who do not attend the college cannot achieve. Therefore, the economic merit caused by graduating a college attracts people to study in a college. 

Secondly, a lot of advanced institutions have a variety of knowledge quenching people’s draught for knowledge. It is evident that such institutions have more compatible environment to access to knowledge that people want to find than any other places have. There are libraries, professors, and peer students who carry similar aim in knowledge, and even staffs who support attendees’study. These advantages make universities wonderful place for those who are interested in pursuing academic career to seek spiritual satisfaction; besides, 

It is supported from the fact that many oldpeople study in university who are quiet far from their monetary concern forfuture.<o:p></o:p><-이문장이해안가네요....

fulfilling->quenching으로바꿨습니다 표현을 draught이라는 표현을쓰셔서 quenching이 더적절할것 같네요. 

To sum up, the major reasons for attending thehighest educational system are attendee\'s pursuit of material and spiritual satisfactions especially the ones from monetary improvement in future and from academic inquiry . For these reasons, many people attend the university or college despite the high tuition..어쩌구저쩌구쓰시면 더될듯하네요 

 전체적으로 문법적으로봣을때 일치시키는거나 parallelism 이잘안맞네요

사람하나엿으면 its사람여러명이면 their로받아야되는데 위에도 하나고친거잇는것 같고 

그리고.. 피리어드찍고 that is because 로시작하는거 추천하지않습니다 한문장길어지더라도 because나 since 혹은 on the ground that  or on grounds that등으로 마무리지으세요....

그리고 if a person studied, he would have 이거 안됩니다.. a person 이면 엄밀히말하면 he or she 더좋은답은 one으로받으셔야됩니다.

또한 one is 면 다음에 받는것은 another is에요. 

 그리고 

It is evident that such institutions have more compatible environment to access to knowledge that people want to find than any other places have. 

가주어써서하는거 별로..안좋아해요 그냥 s+v로바로들어가는게 더나요. 심한 교수님같은경우는 redundant 라고지워버리기도합니다. 

저도 밤새고시간좀남아서 고쳐본겁니다..수고하세요